Liberals

Lounging on the urinal with Gary, 1974. Dressed like Bowie. Posing like Iggy.

[Editors Note: Reading this post will be enhanced immensely if you click here and listen to Mr. Pop as you enjoy the article.]

I’ve been called a bitch so many times during my lifetime I’ve actually developed many canine tendencies. I poop whenever I want, stick my snout in the anonymous crotches of passerbys, and spend the afternoons chasing the shiny hubcaps of speeding vehicles on Laguna Street. Sadly, I lost the ability to lick my own genitals decades ago.

For purposes of today’s post I’d like to concentrate on my preternatural ability to smell fear in humans. It’s all over Congressional Democrats.

They lack authenticity with voters because they are always working overtime to shun their past.

Republicans are proud to be xenophobic racists. Their swelling pride is directly proportionate to their bulging bank accounts. Cheating in their personal lives and illegally disenfranchising voters is all part of winning the election.

They love their bible, especially when it’s held upside down by their President the first time he ever touches one. And they get away with all this venal hypocrisy because, gawddamnit, they worship that fuckin’ flag.

On the other side of the aisle their pet Pekinese know to keep their place. If Democrats yip too much they’re smacked in the nose by Republican media moguls.

They’ve especially been trained not to own the issues of: Social Security; Worker’s Rights; Civil Rights; Medicare; Women’s Rights; Voting Rights; stopping the folly of Viet Nam; Tax Fairness; Gay Rights; or Income Equality. The mistakes of these extreme ideas that germinated in the leftist portion of their party must never be repeated.

I watched Senator Stabenow’s analysis of the congressional losses Democrats sustained this election. She blames the liberal moniker that the party just can’t shed.

It left me frothing at the mouth.

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