They Had Elephants, They Needed Clowns (Part One)

Try as I might, I couldn’t even get on the New Hampshire ballot.

I cried on my ninth birthday because I realized the next time, and forever more, my age would consist of two digits. I preferred the one digit era. I had organized the world in my own way and wasn’t looking forward to any type of grown-up thinking.

I believed there was a civilization of miniatures living in my stomach. When I ate macaroni I was sending these tiny people logs so they could build cabins. When I ate broccoli it was shrubbery they could use to landscape their yards.

And just as there were people inside of me, so had I probably once slid down someone else’s gullet. I wasn’t sophisticated enough yet to factor in waste disposal concepts.

In addition to the circle of life thing I’d also developed my own theories of random. Because there were billions of people on earth there had to be one other boy out there exactly my age who behaved, looked and thought like me. The world was so vast he could have been anywhere. Living in Indiana, I decided my doppelgänger was on a farm somewhere in Iowa. Sadly, we’ve never met.

It’s easy to see how a mind like this would be susceptible to conspiracy theories as an adult. With Oliver Stone on my side, I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of the Kennedy Assassination being the takeover of the US government by a ruling elite.

The OSS was formed during the Second World War to gather intelligence then morphed into the CIA afterwards. The agency was initially made up of Eastern blue bloods who were responsible for protecting America’s imperial wealth abroad. Whether it was bananas in Guatemala or oil in Iran, the CIA was there to topple regimes if they got in the way of American stakeholders.

As the Military-Industrial Complex grew in the 1950’s it became intertwined with the CIA. The US became the arms dealer to the world. American Industrialists were making so much money, their greed had them setting their sights on the biggest client of all: the US itself.

A pretext for a war to stop Communism in Viet Nam was made. Kennedy didn’t approve of the idea and he ended up paying the price. Over the next 12 years more compliant leaders fed Wall Street and the Complex a hefty diet of taxpayer dollars for a needless conflict.

The Intelligence Community wanted to call the shots and have the Presidency rubber stamp their initiatives. To avoid another Kennedy, the executive would have to become just the figurehead. Any clown should be able to do that job. As long as they could get elected.

It was easier to have a Republican as President because they were more simpatico. But Democrats, if elected, could be co-opted to minimize any damage to the plan.

The first test for the Republicans’ new Ringling Brothers Dynasty came a year after Dallas. To prove they could get any face elected to an important office, Ronald Reagan was sent up as a trial ballon. With absolutely no qualifications or experience, name recognition alone got him elected Governor of California. 

I’m still naive enough to think the CIA does not control elections overtly, i.e. they’re not manipulating numbers. They do have a role in molding public opinion via the media.  As long as a preponderance of Republicans continue to win they don’t need to rig the results.

With the advent of the civil rights movement, the GOP harnessed resentment and institutional racism to convert a block of southern states that had voted against them for almost a century The constitutional crisis of Watergate was used to consolidate powers in the executive and weaken the legislative branch.

Jimmy Carter, who no one had ever heard of at the time, came out of nowhere to be elected President in 1976. Actually, he came out of Georgia and was the last Democrat anyone in the south ever voted for. He was a red herring for one ineffectual term which provided a bi-partisan smokescreen to the process.

When Reagan cleared that White House hurdle in 1980, the coup was complete. The succession of Republican dumb and dumbers was underway.

I picture the elites in their Dr. Strangelove bunker snickering over which bozo they can pass off next, smugly confident they can get any joker elected, When Agent Orange won in 2016, their cosmic laughter was seismic.

A closer examination of these circus folk will follow in the next post.


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