October Surprise

Even with the New England Journal of Medicine, Scientific American, hundreds of retired generals, and the few remaining sentinent leaders of the Republican Party all coming out against them, the Trump Campaign remains confident of victory.

A dear, dear friend of mine, some bitch at the League of Women Voters, has leaked the campaign’s top secret debate script to me. It’s the logical next step in Presidential Politics.

Towards the end of Thursday’s showdown, the President will appear completely embarrassed, totally flummoxed and near collapse. Suddenly, there will be a rustling in the audience. A folded chair will come flying across the stage as the moderator runs for cover. Eye of the Tiger will blast, the fog machines will be cued and the First Daughter will appear.

Ivanka’s new “Thank you Nashville!” manicure

The Donald will barely have the strength to reach up to touch his freeze-dried baby girI’s Frito-lay manicured hand. But the tag will be made.

The Ivankinator will take one giant stride and burst through the acrylic spit shield. She’ll grab Biden in a choke hold, take him to the ground then exclaim “You’re too weak to be President!” as she watches him expire.

Just as they did back in the good old USS of R, Agent Orange will be re-elected unopposed.

It’s what the Founding Fathers envisioned.

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