Dropping Dead Caucus Tells Struggling Americans to Drop Dead

Reacting to the postponement of their August vacation, a furious Caucus of Senate Republicans About to Drop Dead convened on Monday. They showed up on Capitol Hill wearing speedos, bikinis and thongs as a silent protest. It’s unfathomable to them why they need to waste time on relief packages when they could be spending a full month at the beach.

There was the rogue presence of 67-year-old Senator Collins. Too young for the caucus, she’s franticly attending every meeting she can get into these days. It’s a desperate attempt to sell as many of her votes as possible before she loses her reelection campaign.

The other anomaly was Senator Cotton of Arkansas who is only 43. The poor thing is still having problems with his numbers. He’s pretty good counting up to 20 but after that it’s a muddled mess. He doesn’t know where he belongs.

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