Trump Authors New, Improved Presidential Oath

John Q. Public gets the shaft while Q. Mortimer Patrician IV makes off like a bandit.

I here-eth by-eth pledge-eth to beguile-eth the masses
with pittances while rewarding the laziest one-percent
with the bulk of US Treasury holdings so they may
trickle on the general population. Amen-eth.

It’s yet to be determined if the swearing in will take place when federal troops seize the voting machines on Election Night or if they’ll wait until DH-SS troops storm the Electoral College. Both Jared and Ivanka have a series of botox injections in November and December that will need to be worked around.

In either case, the Roberts Court stands by to rubber stamp whatever Trump and McConnell want. This is going to make “dangling chads” look like child’s play.

 

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