The girl can’t help it. The ink had yet to dry on the closing documents when she pulled out her Stryker and started hawking. She’s a natural born seller.

Mrs. Kushner said her fascination with sex toys began when she discovered her Mama Ivana’s stash under her bed. A particular favorite was this exact copy of Jeff Stryker’s groinage, a stalwart of 1980s Gay Porn.

When asked if a model from her Mother’s generation would appeal to today’s dildo lovers, Ivanka winked and said, “slip it in, honey, you tell me.”

The Senior Advisor to the President also addressed rumors that there may be rifts in the Kushner-Trump union. She described Jared as a loving and understanding spouse. “Just because my husband was born with an abundance of good looks doesn’t mean he’s abundant in other departments.”