True Facts About Laura Ingraham

Our Lady of the Trump Virus for Wednesday, May 7th: Pat Nixon.

As told to me by my dear friend Mrs. Rupert Murdoch, aka Jerry Hall, aka Mrs. Mick Jagger.

I’m happy to report Jerry’s designer wardrobe is looking hotter than ever thanks to record profits from Fox News’ sure-to-be Pulitzer Prize winning coverage of the Trump Virus.

Tell me Jerry, what does one wear to a virtual funeral?

Now, about Laura.

  • Jesus made her infertile saying “this one’s too sick even for me.” (Gallatians something something, I don’t have time to look it up.)
  • Barely able to scrape by on her mega-million Fox contract, Laura allegedly lends her adopted children out for child pornography services saying, “hey, a bucks a buck.”
  • She’s secretly been having an affair with Maria Bartiroma for years.  The pirated tape of them acheiving multiple orgasms while screaming “Main Street just doesn’t get it! Wall Street needs the bailout money now!” has been a favorite of C-suites since the W administration.

All true according to my friend’s cousin’s manicurist who also does Mrs. Jerry’s frito nails.

Don’t look now but coverage like this may just snatch that Pulitzer away from Fox.

Ivanka’s fashion tip to Laura. To everyone really.


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