Proving once again the purpose of public service is to enhance personal wealth, the mellifluous tones of Senate moderation are about to capitalize on Impeachment Trial publicity with a hot new single. The upper chamber’s Kangarettes have released a moving new version of I Fought the Law.

Originally intended to out smoke Bobby Fuller and Clash hits from decades ago, it was found the synapses could not fire fast enough to keep up with the blistering 150 BPM metronome of those allegrissimos. So it’s been slowed down to a more manageable 65 BPM ballad featuring Senator Collins’ signature vibrato in the lead.

Joining Maine’s solon in the Kangs are Senators Murkowski of Alaska and Feinstein of California. Both are renown for struggling with their consciences before ultimately siding with the Bogey Man to pad their wallets.

The inclusion of non-GOPer Feinstein may come as a surprise to some but not really when you consider how she often votes with them anyway (after heavily publicizing her “misgivings” beforehand). Or how she mismanages the Democratic agenda so badly the party of wealth preservation always prevails in the end (see the Kavanaugh hearings.)

Fans were disappointed the new release was not their long-anticipated version of the blues classic I Smell Trouble (aka Susan’s Eating Clams Again). That song seems to more aptly reflect the murky thoughtfulness they like to posture for the press before any big vote. It really is a natural for them. But marketers felt at only 60 BPMs the more uptempo Law was the way to grab the youth market on their initial offering.

The Triangulating Troika have promised Smell will be the next single out of the can. (Or hopefully, in Collins’ case, in the can. Ha! Ha! Do us all a favor, Suze, and take a dump. Jeeze!))