How Many Bunnies Had to Die to Make That Headboard?

In the end: zero.

My first choice of a striped faux rabbit fur arrived not as pictured. Online it was a cool blue/black and blue/gray combo with a slight touch of brown. In hand, it was mostly brown with undertones of gray and black. I wanted chinchilla. I got sable.

Those faux bunnies did not die in vain, however. The unused piece will be reserved for a future project. It’s beautiful fabric.

What I thought I’d ordered.

Knitting or crocheting fur is a process that baffles me. But if they say they did it I believe them. My backup fabric for the headboard was a charcoal ombre, crocheted fake fur. In daylight it resembles wide wale corduroy. In artificial light the channels disappear and it becomes a dull, shimmering titanium monolith.

This new look marks the end of the two year, proof-of-concept phase for having a bed with an amorphous head. It was a failure.

The original idea was to pile all of the pillows in the center of the bed. On any given night, whichever end (or over whichever side) my face fell was the designated head. I liked the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse feel of everyday being Anything Can Happen Day.

But there was little support to sit up and read. And I got tired of kicking books off the wall in the middle of the night. My recurring dream of a passionate night with Liberace was abruptly interrupted one too many times.

The quality that remains consistent in all of my projects is the inability to manage or estimate time. This one was intended to be a two day job. It took me three weeks. The price paid for learning as you go.

The headboard says shalom. It was necessary to carve out two mezuzas: one to electric light, the other to forced air heat.

One valuable takeaway in this go-round was how to work with old goose down comforters. Lock up those pesky feathers by basting off the section you plan to use before making the cuts. Otherwise you’ll be living a Lucy Ricardo nightmare, your apartment saturated in down for a week. I’m happy to report it’s all been cleaned up (I think) and the symptoms of white lung disease have subsided.

I also learned that feathers are mostly protein. They can be used in compost. I may have destroyed home life for seven days but I did my part to save the universe in the process.

Although I’m back to a traditional predetermined headboard, I reserve the right to sleep wherever I want.

The rejected bunny fur awaiting reassignment.

4 thoughts on “How Many Bunnies Had to Die to Make That Headboard?

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