A Caregiver’s Guide to a Successful Hospital Visit

Wear bright, bold colors and show as many teeth as possible when you smile. Phony cheerfulness can do wonders for the dreary ambiance of a hospital room. Listen intently to what the patient is saying. Somewhere in that incoherent mumbling they may be articulating a need you might be able to help with. Or not.

Be sure to to take advantage of the hospital’s free wifi and bring your phone. Small talk about the patient’s physical therapy can get old. Start texting to let everyone know which episode of The Crown you’re on. Or who you saw that tramp Bill with last night. You did your job by showing up at the hospital, now book a little “me time” and indulge yourself.

Patients often have weak or non-existent appetites so it’s no crime to stop by at meal times and pick at their trays. Those are your Obama-care tax dollars that paid for that slop, take back what’s rightfully yours. Patients are like zoo animals, they get regular feedings. Missing a meal here or there isn’t going to hurt them.

Decorum and a sense of self will get you everywhere in life. Never let down your guard.


Ben continues to make slow progress. And, as should be obvious, he hasn’t lost his sense of humor.

Thanks to all of you who have supported Ben. If you are interested in reading his story or making a donation visit gofundme.com/ben-and-sydney.

Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Or whatever it is that floats your boat.


4 thoughts on “A Caregiver’s Guide to a Successful Hospital Visit

  1. You are the standard by which all others should be measured. Your commitment to your work must give your patients great comfort…


      In the afternoon, I went over to the Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm handgun for home/personal protection. When I was ready to pay for the pistol and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”
      Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!!!
      As an intelligent senior citizen, I do not get flustered often, but this time it took me a while to get my pants back on. I’ve been asked to shop elsewhere.
      They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer. I still don’t think I looked that bad! Just need to wear underwear more often.

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