Hackneying Hockney

There's no blue in nature like the unnatural blue indigenous to Capri.
There’s no blue in nature like the unnatural blue indigenous to Capri.

My first two years in college I lived in the Mens Residence Center. I chose it because it was close to campus and because it was on a much smaller scale than the high-rise barns most student cattle were herded into. Its limestone neo-gothic architecture made it feel like something out of an MGM movie.

When I registered I didn’t realize it was also the dorm for the IU swim team. At the time Indiana was the ne plus ultra in college swimming, winning six consecutive national championships under Coach Doc Counsilman. My sophomore year Mark Spitz lived on the floor below me.

The swimmers’ nickname for me was Vulch. I had a habit of smelling  pizza on the floor, calmly walking into that person’s room to grab a slice, then leaving without a word to anyone present. Vulch was short for Vulture.

The team was always traveling to exotic locales for meets with UCLA, Miami, or Stanford. Their trips lent them access to the hippest street markets in the country. They came back with the best drugs. When they weren’t sure of the product they’d say “let’s have Vulch try it first.” I did my best to support the team.

You’d think with all this quality exposure I’d be a better swimmer than I am. I’m not very good. And I’m a little embarrassed to have people watch me. But since the other tenants in my apartment complex rarely use it, the pool is like a private cement pond right outside my door. I try to swim every day.

You can tell I’m gaining confidence. The trunks are getting skimpier.

Built in 1955 there were no pesky regulations limiting size.
Beach towel from the Costco Collection.
How is this to be enforced? Who is to enforce it? How firm must a stool be to be considered non-diarrheal? We need more signage to explain all of this.
The limp umbrella. You’re in Palm Springs, it happens.
Water and cement. I hit them daily.
The palms. Toujours, the palms. From sea level.
Giverny redux.
Under water lighting in older pools can sometimes short out electrocuting anyone in the water. A great motivator while doing laps.

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You The Last Temptation of Me

One thought on “Hackneying Hockney”

  1. What’s what’s your plan for SF. I heard from Kiki that you hit a second lottery? So many choices.Just got back from NY. Why had I not been back in four years? I had a blast!XX, Leigh 

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