It seems I’ve won the lottery as a prospective tenant in the new 55 Laguna Street apartment complex. I may soon have my own place in San Francisco again.

Last week I received a call with a San Mateo area code. Numbers I don’t recognize are usually ignored but if I do answer it’s with the “don’t fuck with me fellas” tone reserved for telemarketers and collection agencies. A voice in my head told me to be nice this time.

The woman spoke rather haltingly as she ascertained whether she had reached the party to whom she was speaking. She then explained that the application I’d submitted for a below market rate apartment was being considered. They want to interview me to verify that I qualify financially.

With all the new construction over the last several years there was always talk that a certain portion was being set aside as affordable housing. The numbers I remember reading, however, were like 15 out of 500 new units. Rather meaningless.

Apparently the City has gotten more aggressive about this. There are many more units being held off the market and they are giving preferences to certain groups, like seniors and those who have been Ellis Act victims. I was number 1215 in this drawing, number 11 after the preferences factored in. Being old, decrepit, gay and Ellis Act-ed has its privileges.

Prior to last week I’d considered my chances of winning rather remote. I was shocked I was picked on my first try. Whether it’s attributable to fortune or fame I have no idea. Deep down I have a feeling it’s karma. Payback for all the nice things I’ve had to say about Mayor Lee 

***

The Eviction Story

• As the Pot Melts
• Rear Window
• Christmas, Baby Please Come Home
• Mein Kampf
• Visions of Carlotta
• Rotten Plums
• Your Eminence, Your Worship, Your Grace
• Mon Petit Chiu Chiu
• Would You Buy a Used Car From this Man?
• Don’t Piss on My Leg and Tell Me It’s Raining
• Second Floor, Women’s Lingerie
• What Have I Got to Hide?
• I Have Not Been Served
• Clarity
• A Woo By Any Other Name
• Meet the Mongels
• The Folks at Home
• The Great Un-Quashed
• The Only Person Who Can Judge Me Is Judy
• Said the Joker to the Thief
• I Left My Heart
• Up On Housing Project Hill
• I Fought the Law and the Law Won