Things I Will Miss, Volume I

Les Nuits de Paris Massage Parlor has been in the neighborhood since I moved here. The Minerva, Venus and Austrian shades in the window haven't budged an inch in four decades.
Les Nuits de Paris Massage Parlor has been in the neighborhood since I moved here. The Minerva, Venus and Austrian shades in the window haven’t budged an inch in four decades.
The parlor is a half block from the prestigious Commonwealth Club. My theory is there's an underground tunnel to preserve the anonymity of its esteemed members.
The parlor is a half block from the prestigious Commonwealth Club. My theory is there’s an underground tunnel to preserve the anonymity of its esteemed members.
The Campus Theatre on the 200 block of Jones was famous for its male strippers. This bakery was directly across the street.
The Campus Theatre on the 200 block of Jones was famous for its male strippers. This bakery was directly across the street.
My first bank account was with Hibernia at the base of Jones Street. I chose it for its beaux art architecture. It closed three years later. It's sat empty except for a brief stint as a precinct station. They're always working on it but it never reopens.
My first bank account was with Hibernia at the base of Jones Street. I chose it for its beaux art architecture. It closed three years later. It’s sat empty except for a brief stint as a precinct station. They’re always working on it but it never reopens.
The imposing and very un-San Francisco looking National Guard Armory was a block from my first apartment with Daryl on 14th Street. It became a porn studio in the 90's. Thank you for your service.
The imposing and very un-San Francisco looking National Guard Armory was a block from my first apartment with Daryl on 14th Street. It became a porn studio in the 90’s. Thank you for your service.
In the 70's the first thing you did when you moved here was apply for $82 monthly General Assistance, It was a rubber stamp process, no one was denied. You also got $40 in food stamps. And Medi-Cal which meant free visits every month to a pill doctor for 30 seconals and 60 valium (which you could sell if there were any left.)
In the 70’s the first thing you did when you moved here was apply for $82 monthly General Assistance, It was a rubber stamp process, no one was denied. You also got $40 in food stamps. And Medi-Cal which meant free visits every month to a pill doctor for 30 seconals and 60 valium (which you could sell if there were any left.)
The more hardcore graduated from GA to SSI. Applications were taken at 1235 Mission then you were called back for a psychological evaluation. The trick was to act as crazy as possible. I submitted the application but never went back.
The more hardcore graduated from GA to SSI. Applications were taken at 1235 Mission then you were called back for a psychological evaluation. The trick was to act as crazy as possible. I submitted the application but never went back.

Next: Things I Will Miss, Volume II
Previous: Said the Joker to the Thief
The complete saga, From the Beginning

Contact: ellistoellis@gmail.com

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